Avoidance +3...

LF contacted me last night again wanting me to come over... Saying that she has missed my "hugs", that she wanted to see me. But last night I had an after work meeting and then 2 soccer games. No real time to fraternize around, especially since AL was going to be playing with me in my second game.

Driving between games, I got a message from LF: "Who's the girl above me on your profile". Made me think... what the f*ck, this girl is turning into a stalker. I responded back to her.. "I don't really care about the ordering of 'top friends' on my profile, I just put the real people I know ahead of the bands and other things I'm associated with... Hell, my ex-wife is in my top friends". (which she is... )

LF also let me know yesterday that it frustrated her that she wants me, but I'm seemingly too busy for a relationship. I responded back to her with: "No, I'm just not around you as much as you would like.." Knowing full well that I was in fact avoiding her. Attempting to look too busy for a relationship. (Avoidance +1).

I haven't contacted SR (Avoidance +2) nor Sum (Avoidance +3) either this week. I'm seeing SR tonight at our weekly bowling night. Since this is about the 3rd or 4th week where I haven't really spoken to her much outside of bowling, I'm sure, and hoping, that tonight will just be cordial between us. None of her kissing me, no whining of why I don't see her outside of these social situations. I really hope it's like that.

I'm such an ostrich when it comes to wanting something to end between me and another girl... I really thought I grew out of doing this sort of thing, non-confrontational and not leaving questions unanswered. But for these relationships to which I felt were a lot more casual, I'm not. Not like I was ever 'committed' to any of them, in fact I'm sure they knew that I was dating others. They'd have to be blind to not notice...

Perhaps this will catch up to me as I allow those other relationships dwindle away... Obviously my focus has developed on AL... But I still have a lot to learn about her as well...

Such a predicament.