Just feels right...

Over the weekend I spent some time with AL. We went to the Timbers soccer game on Sunday and had dinner Friday night. We spent a lot of the time feeling out each other (both figuratively and literally). It was strange though, just every response we had to each other, just seemed.... right.

Here is a woman that is similar in ways to me, but different enough in experiences and thought to keep me intrigued. She's beautiful, witty, athletic, selfless and strong willed. She plays and enjoys soccer as I do, is very affectionate and enjoys bantering about me on topics. The only reservation that I'm currently having is that it seems that she is always "testing" me. Trying to listen for responses that may impact her outlook on me. Eventhough she does this, it doesn't cause me to alter my responses to her. But it does give me some cause for concern.

Perhaps she's been jaded from her past (she also has had a failed marriage), maybe she just thinks that the situation is too good to be true. We went on a date about 5 months ago. At that time I saw a lot of the qualities that I'm attracted to, and I still do. But it didn't work then, so why now?

I asked her about that. Why the sudden turn-around?

She said that she had finally realized that she couldn't deny it anymore. All during those 5 months she was trying to find someone like her ex-husband (which I'm not). She wanted to find someone that she could fix of the same issues that her ex had. How he was cold to her, wasn't supportive of her, didn't believe in her. Why would anyone want that?

What she couldn't understand how I could like her straight off. Why I was so attracted to her in the beginning. What did I see in her, when I hardly knew her, that would make me like her?

All during that time when she was dating others, she said that she kept thinking about me. She noticed how I wasn't like that, that I would be supportive and understanding of situations. She noticed how I would do things such as carry her off the field when she hurt her ankle in a soccer game, how I would listen to her opinions and give my own guidance. Then she decided not to deny it anymore. Life is too difficult to handle your own life, let alone trying to fix someone else whom will always be broken.

So here we are... I've found myself already starting to push LF away, to not call Sum back, to not reach out and talk to SR. I find myself to not be hesitant to have me be seen with her out in public. To want to meet her for events, to make time in my day to contact her. Maybe I'm settling... maybe this is what I've been searching for. Time will tell. All I know right now is that we both have commented that it "just feels right".