Seems quiet...

But that's not always good... it means that something big is going to happen, but I'm not sure what yet.

SR has been quiet this week, only left me a voice mail on Monday seeing how I'm doing. No real news there, but with our co-ed bowling team starting up (on which she's on), things might get interesting there.

Sum just checked in today, she indicated the feeling that she's starting to get the cold shoulder from me. That's no good, if I want to keep her in the mix.

LF has been dominating my time, constantly sending me text messages and trying to line up time to spend with me. I'm finally starting to feel better over my cold (although I do have one ear plugged up and a constant ringing in my ears. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for next week to get it looked at if it doesn't get better before then.) Last night I played soccer with LF and some of her friends for a few hours, then after that she offered to come over and "make out" a bit with me. But I'm still kind of thrown off from her previous comments of not wanting to sleep with me "unless the timing is right". Whatever... just makes me think of her as unpredictable. I mean, I can understand that she's having issues due to what she just went through, but a lot of her actions during the time of the procedure were a lot different than how she's acting now. So I told her no, I didn't want her to come over. It's true, as I wanted some time home still to recover from this dumb cold.

Tonight technically I should be playing soccer, but LF asked me to go to a symphony concert downtown on the water front tonight, and that sounded like fun so we're going to do that. On top of that, college football is starting tonight and I wanted to watch the game. Stupid social life getting in the way of other activities. :/

My parents are going to be in town, so I know I'm going to have to brush off some plans so that I can spend time with them and help them out with some errands. That in and of its self might ruin my whole weekend. I'm going to have to help them empty some storage sheds and move stuff around town, plus deal with them and family stress. No good. Maybe I can just hide my head and avoid them, although I do need some things from my dad, plus we have to line up logistics for my move. Which reminds me, I need to go and check the progress on it this weekend.

On top of all of this, I haven't gone to the chiropractor yet to fix my back, and I just realized I'm signed up on 6 teams for this next soccer season.

Ugh.

sometimes its good to be sick...

Although I've found that relationships at that point take a lot of maintenance. Its nice to know that there are multiple women who care about me right now, multiple offers to bring over food, multiple offers to bring medicine, multiple offers for company.

However, that also means multiple phone calls to receive and place. Friday LF was really pestering me to come out and meet her and her friends at the bar. Tempting, but I was feeling out of energy and was coughing up a storm. Also, SR had taken initiative and wanted to bring me dinner and watch a movie. She brought over chicken soup for us, and a few cookies. We watched the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. It wasn't half bad, made me reminisce of the Saturday Morning cartoons I used to watch when I was younger. Now, Saturday mornings are meant for college football!

Saturday for some reason, I woke up feeling worse. Really unfortunate, as I had wanted to be more active this weekend and get some activities done and play more soccer and try to get back into shape. Instead, I ended up being trapped at home. Being stuck at home wasn't so bad, it's just the pounding headache and constant ringing in my ears that was annoying. My head felt congested and my hearing was impaired. This cold really sucks.

Saturday night I was able to get out of the house for a bit and met Carl and Ryan at the Moon and Sixpence bar. The Moon and Sixpence bar is roughly 6 blocks from my house, therefore really easy to walk to. The down part was that I had been taking cold medicine through out the day, and drinking beer on top of the beers really knocked me out. I sat there barely awake after two beers until I ended up heading home around 11:30.

Sunday was much of the same. I ended up having to miss 2 soccer games, instead just hanging out with LF and watching Sunday Night Football at her house where she fixed me dinner and we ended up having a little bit of physical desert. :)

It's nice to feel loved...

But sometimes it begins to get suffocating. I tend to alternate between an INTP and ESTP personality type. I once took a personality test and the results that came out where pretty much accurate, although I tend to take those with a grain of salt. Right now, I think I'm starting to swing towards my INTP personality where I'd rather be left alone and not deal with the concerns and relationships with other women. Frankly, I'd love to be able to spend a week or so just down in my basement playing my World of Warcraft game and chill for awhile.

However, if I do that, I know that I will lose the companionship that I do currently have. You can never take someone for granted. I guess this is some of the growth period that I need to go through.

SR got back into town and I spoke a bit with her. I let her know that I had a cold, and she offered to bring me over some soup and take care of me. That's 3 offers now. Between SR, LF and Sum, I know that one of them is going to move on. Out of the 3, Sum is most likely the one. She's already asked me if I've moved on (since I didn't come and see her immediately after she got back from Morocco), but I said no. In fact, I do like spending time with her, we have a lot of similarities in our professions, between our cats and we're both easy going. However, I think she's looking for more attention, and between those three I don't have much spare time to provide.

On top of all of this, a new opportunity has arisen. I once went out with a girl, AL, who I play a lot of soccer with and am on multiple teams with. She's pretty cool, good personality, analytical like I am, into science as I am and can hold her own. However on the one date we went on, I did mention my divorce, and that seemed to chase her off. Not that I'm really hung up on my divorce, granted there are some open questions I need to work through, but all in all it doesn't affect the relationships that I have besides the fact that I don't want a committed relationship right now.

But recently AL has started contacting me again. Like out of the blue, in one day I get multiple emails from her, and a text message. She asked if I was going to the Timbers game tonight, and if she would see me there. Hrm. We'll see how tonight goes, especially since I'm sure that LF will be there as well, and SR might throw a surprise and show up at the game as well. Could get very interesting tonight....

Want me to bring you some soup?

Not once, but twice I got that offer yesterday. Both LF and Sum offered to bring me food, because I developed a really bad cold yesterday. Unfortunatley it got worse last night, so I'll be having to leave work early today.

Between the two, LF took the initiative. I spoke with her and let her know that I was starting to feel sick yesterday, so she reccomended that I skip soccer and the gym, which of course I was going to do anyways. LF then asked if I would be home soon, and to stay there if I was. She showed up about a half hour later with a nice bowl of soup for me from Elephants Delicatessen. :) What an angel. It was basically a nice chicken soup, tasted excellent. After we ate dinner together, she took off and let me be for the night. No special events really happened, however the potential was definitely there. Just having a cold put a big damper on things.

Sum also called and let me know that she was at the store, and if there was anything that I wanted her to pickup, she would. Nice to have multiple women concerned about you. :)

Last night I slept like crap. Woke up at least a dozen times, snot going from my throat to my nostrils, hacking a lung multiple times. It made my night hell. Luckily my work is flexible enough to let me take off early, so I'll be heading home after a meeting at 1pm. Bleh... then Warcraft and water for the night.

Wings and Beer and Women, oh my!

LF has been attempting to monopolize my time, with mild success I may add. Friday night she made the statement that she was going to come over. Mind you, I was busy trying to recover from my Thursday night of binge drinking and felt really under the weather. I lost the battle and ended up having to pray forgiveness to the porcelain god. Evil... yet another reminder to never mix my beer and liquor.

Friday LF came over and we ended up watching a movie. We ended up watching Boiler Room. Such a great movie, about how a kid gives up his illegal card room business and instead gets looped into an illegal stock selling business. The scary thing is that it is feasible, and has been done before. Talking up stocks as "the next microsoft" and then selling at the top and watching it crash. Really sad how some people get sucked into that.

So after a little head and some head games, she went back home and allowed me to recover.

The next day, I woke up and played some WoW. I really want to build up my Warrior character to become a Tank for my guild, so I can run the end-game instances with them. I'm close, I just need to pick up a few more pieces of gear and I'm set. Throughout the day, LF was continuously sending me messages letting me know what she was up to. She let me know that she was going to soccer, leaving soccer, had a good game, etc.... Finally later that afternoon I touched base with her and she threw out a great idea. She wanted to go see BodyWorlds 3 at OMSI. I was feeling broke, as I have an upcoming home purchase, but she volunteered to pay for us, so it sounded good to me.

I got a text from my friend Carl seeing what was up, so I ended up talking LF into letting Carl meet us for some food at a local pub. We ended up hanging out until about 11pm, I actually had a few beers to help ease my drinking back in. Carl ended up staying around the pub until midnight or 1am. After the pub, of course LF wanted to come back to my home and make out.

Sunday was much of the same. LF yet again wanted to hook up with me, tried to get me to go play some pickup soccer. We ended up just meeting around 5pm and heading with Carl over to Madison's for wings and beer. 3 orders of wings and 3 pitchers of beer later, everything was all good. We dropped Carl off, headed to my place where the head games ensued yet again. Man that girl likes to give head. Not that I complain at all, but it's the whole relationship thing that is getting into the way.

Sum had texted me Saturday asking if we'd ever do anything again (so I have to line something up this week), SR is coming back from her cruise soon, etc. So many balancing acts. LF said that she wanted to stay the night at least 50% of the time that she sleeps with me. But that's a huge jump for me. When a woman begins to stay the night, it starts to become a relationship. Ugh.. such a balance. It's not that I don't want one, I just don't want the commitment expectations. On her side, she said that she wants it like that because she doesn't want to feel 'used'. Well, I call her the next day usually, right? We still go out and do things after I sleep with her... so what's the issue? Needless to say, this will be a kink that will either a) be worked out or b) cause the situation to fail. Either way, I'll ride it (and her) while I can.

Beer before liquor....

Thursday night was a little bit "eventful", let's just say.

My friend Lucas and I went to the Talib Kweli concert and stayed out way too late. The next day I paid for it for sure. Let's just say that I did my time "Praying to the Porcelain" god. Thank god for the ability to WFH (Working From Home), I only had to be on 1 conference call with a client, the rest of the day I was able to work through email and IM. However on Monday I'll have a lot of research and information gathering that I will need to get done, so I'll make up my time then.

Thursday started off with me leaving work an hour early. I had plans to take a quick nap so I could be rested up for the night, but that ended up switching over to putting in a few hours in Warcraft playing in the Battlegrounds. I was a few thousand points off of the next piece of my High Warlord set, so I wanted more to wrap that up so I could pick it up on Friday.

Lucas and I decided to meet around 8pm at the Marathon bar in Portland and then head down to the Crystal Ballroom venue. Well, I live over in North East Portland, so getting downtown is pretty trivial for me. When I have plans to go downtown, I tend to hang around the Henry's Tavern area. Since there is a Smart Park complex about 1 block from there, that's where I usually park. I made it there at 8pm. Around 8:10 I got a text from Lucas saying he was on his way and was trying to find parking. Later I found out that the goof actually lives downtown, he could have taken a bus or street car up to where I was. Instead he spent like 20 minutes circling around the bar trying to find parking. Anyways, that gave me a few minutes to have a beer and watch some SportsCenter. Lucas finally showed up, orders a beer and is nice enough to order me one. (Beer #2, are you keeping count? I think I'll be losing count really soon...) We chill for about half an hour, go through another beer (Beer #3) and then decide to head over to the concert.

My friend Carl said that the tickets would be at Will Call for me, so I just walked to the front and checked to see if they were there. Everyone was buying tickets at the door, so I'm sure this pissed some people off (actually, some guy did say that everyone was in line, I told him we were just picking up our tickets and would be done fast... Yeah, I can be a jerk like that sometimes). But whatever, not like I knew any of them in line and could give a rip at that point. The buzz was starting to hit. Well, Carl didn't check on if the tickets would be there or not, and in fact they didn't have the tickets waiting for me. So I asked the lady to check the guest list, we weren't on there. She checked her system to see if the tickets just weren't printed, nope. No tickets, no guest list, not in the computer... WTF. So she asked who put the tickets on Will Call for me, so I dropped Carl's name. Luckily the ticket lady works with him on events, and his last name is really recognizable, so she hooked us up. :) Unfortunately no VIP at the concert, but we were in the concert anyways. That was the important part. Saved a little face with Lucas, I'll just have to give Carl a hard time when I see him next.

First thing we did when getting into the concert was hit the beer. (Beer 4 for me), Lucas however switched up to shots. Lucas actually got a few texts while at the concert, and he found out that a few of his friends were at it too. His friend Josh came and found us, Lucas and Josh went to college together and were roommates at one point. Josh was really cool, we talked about a lot of stuff, enjoyed the music and got hit on by randoms. I love random women. Unfortunately when they're random, they're not the type I look for. So I just humored the poor girl, she was with a friend who was pretty over weight and her friend wasn't top notch. But I don't mind, I like randoms, easy to play with, easy to leave behind. During this period I easily put away another 3 or 4 beers during the concert. (let's say about 9 now).

On one of our many trips to the bathroom, there was another girl whom was dancing by us with one of her friends. Or at least I thought she was just there with another girl and no one else... So one of the times past her, I whispered in her ear "you're pretty hot", and kept moving. I could see that she heard me whisper that, and she gave me a good look. I thought those wheels were in motion, but they weren't. When we made it back down and to the bar, I saw that she was actually there with a few guys, one who appeared to be her boyfriend. Yup. That chance was gone. Oh well, plenty of fish in the sea.

Lucas at the end wanted to hit up Bettie Ford's bar, he has a friend who is a bartender there and has VIP tickets to burn. Unlike me, he had the passes in hand, so we bailed over there and left a bit early during the last song of the encore so we could beat the rush out the door. We got to the bar around 12:30.. already a bit late, and we ended up staying until like 2am or so. There I just basically followed Lucas. That man is a pimp on wheels. He knew basically every woman at the bar, ended up spending some good time with a girl who was down from Seattle there with some friends that he knew. He and she introduced me to a lot of different girls, none really stuck around, plus I didn't make much conversation with them. Oh well, I was not in a mindset of making good conversation. When he was introducing me, Lucas would say that I was a co-worker of his. Predictably they would ask me what I did, so I told them that Lucas was my boss and we went from there. He at one point introduced me as the VP for the company, to which I laughed. Always fun.

Towards the end of the night, Lucas was out dancing on the floor with some girls, so I hung out with them. Some women came and left until I was basically dancing by myself. Well, some girl saw that and decided to put and end to that business. She came up and took my hand and started grinding on me. By this time I was way past trashed. Easily had put down a half rack of drinks (maybe more, as the cups are 16-20oz), and the only thing I had for dinner was a slice of chocolate cake (yup.. I'm a bachelor, what can you expect?).

Right before she danced with me, Lucas had given me a shot. That did me in... not only did I not do the shot right (ate the lime before the salt, then the salt then the drink... yeah, pretty much fucked me up.), but I was definitely at my limit. I would have been fine had I not taken it.

Needless to say, I didn't try getting her number, she wasn't quite the type I was looking for. Although her body felt good against mine, but I'm sure it would have been a mistake to hit that up at the end of the night. Oh well, lots of opportunities are going to come, especially if Lucas and I hang out more, which I'm sure.

I ended up driving home around 2:30am... Much in a state of being that I shouldn't have been driving. No excuses.. I shouldn't have, but I did. I made it home fine, to get to my house from downtown is really easy, all straight shots on the streets, and I've driven in for about 15 years or so now... it's not like I'd get lost. Pulling out of the parking lot was tricky, as was parking. But it was all good.

Friday morning I woke up and attempted to get ready to go to work. I was still drunk, there was no way I was going to make it in. I made a valiant effort though. On my way to work, I checked my Treo for email/messages. I saw that a co-worker of mine had put in that he was WFH, so that sealed the deal. I made a quick turn around, went back home and put in a WFH message as well. Might as well take advantage of it if you can. Plus that, and the fact that my boss was out on vacation made it easy to do. Monday though, I'll have to put in work and make up for it.

I knew I was going to puke, I just didn't know when. I couldn't even down water to help dilute the alcohol in my system. I tried to take some Excedrin's to battle the headache.. tried to down Gatorade... nothing was going down fast enough. I ended up praying around 1pm... I have to remember to never mix.. it's either shots and mixed drinks, or beer. Never a mix. As the saying goes.. Beer before Liquor, never sicker. Once again, I proved that saying right.

I'll be here all night if you wanna stop by...

Passive aggressiveness. Fastest way to piss me off.

LF sent me that message around 6pm last night. All through the day she was texting me with updates on how she was physically feeling, actions that were going on, almost TMI (too much information) for me. But I listened... That's what supportive friends do, right?

I'm sure that with all that's been going on in her life that her emotions are flipping out, and perhaps that she isn't normally like this. But still, she sent me this message basically 2 days after I told her that passive aggressiveness was my biggest pet peeve. Well, I didn't answer that text from her.

So around 7:30 she sends another text: "u gonna come over bc if u do can u pick me up a burger from bk". Well, at that time I was out at dinner with a few of my friends. So no... about that time I made up my mind that I was not in fact going to go over to her place. Even if it was in my plans or not from before. Again, I didn't answer that text.

8:50pm: "wheres my hugs?"

To which I finally broke and answered.. (mind you, I was about 4 beers into the night and was comfortable playing Warcraft at home) "This is what I meant about passive aggressive :p "

She texted me back... "but I was joking, sorry." She texts again.. "u said yesterday u would visit me. im sorry".

Doesn't matter, "joking" or not. It happened... you weren't joking. You were trying to get me to come over, but being passive aggressive about it. Needless to say, I didn't respond. In fact, I'm not certain I said I would come over to see her that day, but maybe I did. The fact to me is that she was attempting to get me to come over in a passive aggressive manner... not a good sign of how she truly is.

10pm she leaves me a voice message: "A few of us are going to an outdoors movie tomorrow night if you want to come along. Friday we'll be doing it as well." Now that's a better way to approach me to get me to do something.

Currently my schedule is that I'll be going to a concert tonight (I'll let LF know that later), but Friday is currently open. Sum called me last night as well to check in and wants to hook up soon... But Sum is slammed this weekend with activities as well, so more than likely next week I'll hook up with her.

I haven't hung out with just my friend Carl, and his roommate is out of town this weekend, so maybe I'll do that Friday. Then again, my nerd itch for a Warcraft binge is coming on strong (I need to build up my character to be a Main Tank for my guild.. and I'm close.) and I may just do that this weekend. Time will tell. All I know is that tonight will be fun, and I won't be hanging out with LF. Maybe new opportunities will arise... I love randoms.

How to distance yourself.

Ever get the feeling that you're "out of place" in a relationship?

LF texted me a few times yesterday, she was going through a range of emotions. Sadness and anger from the procedure she's going through today (in a half hour, to be precise), to job frustration for finding out a job opportunity to her was actually from a shady business. I've only known this girl for about a month, lots of these topics are pretty heavy and have a big effect on her life, makes me feel out of place on giving her guidance on how to handle it all.

I mean, I'm not the one having to go through her health issue, my job is running fine, I have no large issues of my own except for my pending move and purchasing of a new home that should occur in a month. It's curious, my life is coming together, hers is in a down turn of sorts.

To be a nice guy and a supportive person in her life I gave her a call after I left work. I guess that it was nice to do this, however it allows her to become more reliant on me. I felt way out of place with her telling me that in fact she didn't have anyone to come be with her today. I did somewhat offer earlier in the week, but she let me know that she would have someone around and didn't need me. Well, obviously that changed.

Unfortunately I had a soccer game last night, so that threw my schedule in a kink, and making it and seeing her wasn't an option. I was already dead from not enough sleep the last few nights and frankly just wanted to be home and vegitate out a bit. She then started to cry and asked if I would come over, so I let her know what my schedule was, and that it would be hard for me to do both. She then let me know that she would call her girl friend D. Well, D is a much better person for LF to be around, as D is a) a woman and b) known LF longer than I have. Made sense to me, so I didn't feel too guilty after that.

I felt kind of bad, as I was her first option for support... but many things just made me feel uncomfortable about it. She'll be okay.

But today is the big day of the procedure and she just let me know that she started it.... we'll see how she does today and tomorrow for the aftermath.

So I'm not an asshole?

LF called me yesterday and asked if I wanted to play tennis. I think I last played tennis in high school, so roughly 12 years ago or so, but she enjoys it, so why not?

Yesterday was beautiful here. Weather was around 80, sunshine and not many clouds in the sky. As a bonus, she wanted to play near my home at a local park. On top of all of this, she wanted to watch the second half of the Monday Night Football game at my place after tennis. Where did this girl come from?!

I felt a bit obligated to spend some time with her, even though I have recently felt a big urge to go on a Warcraft binge. Especially with her upcoming procedure, she really needs the support of people she likes/loves, I'll always do my part. We agreed to meet up at 6pm at Grant, so that would give me time to go to the gym after work to lift weights and then meet her at the park.

Tennis can feasibly kick my butt back into shape, but my back was feeling really hurt last night (I have developed sciatica, and need to get it fixed), so it was more of me attempting to hit the ball over the net to her, and her running a lot back and forth because my shots were way off (or I guess in tennis that's good because that's how you score, but whatever). It was a lot of fun though, since the weather was nice and the company was nice from her. She told me some news that today (Tuesday) she's going in for an interview to do athletic equipment sales, and it's a commission job. Something that she's been striving for to make her income stable. Good news on that front. Yadda, yadda, yadda... we spoke about other things as well.

After tennis, we went back to my place where we watched the game. She talked a lot to me about how she felt, how it was nice that I wasn't an 'asshole', that it appeared that I cared about her and didn't want to change. All I guess which are true... I'm not an asshole, but I'm not always straight forward. If she only knew about the others, I'm sure her views would change. I'm just concerned that she's becoming more reliant and dependent on me, getting involved with her, and with this big situation that just came up make her more attached to me, as I'm nice to her and don't put her off with her issues. Her closest friend lives on the east coast, and she says that she doesn't have many friends around here that she feels comfortable sharing information with. I'm pretty sure I don't want to stay with her in the long run.... it's going to be a mess to pull out of our situation... I really don't want to be an asshole.

LF's Birthday...

As I promised, I said I'd go into a little more detail about the happenings at LF's birthday on Friday and so here's the story.

9:30 rolls around... I get a text message from LF (through LF's friend's phone) "Hey whore... where are you and your big schlong?" Wow. Sometimes I love how direct she is, but makes me wonder how much she talks about me to her friends. Talking about me to her friends will lead to her having expectations, many times I've iterated to her that I don't want to have. I'm currently at a point where I don't want to worry about another's feelings or concerns when I go about my business. I'm not ready for another commitment, I just want to live and let live.

So I show up at the bar... she's obviously sloshed. Definitely happy to see me, so I proceed to sit down at the table with her and a group of her friends. The waitress comes by, doesn't get a drink order from me, so I just stay patient until the next time she rolls around. LF gets impatient, and goes on her own to get me a Hef. Lovely.. I like it when a woman gets me a drink.. :)

LF introduces me to her friends, mentions to her friend A that "he's the guy I told you about"... Hrm. A and I hit it off pretty well, which is good. It makes things smoother if you get along with the girls friends...

Ryan and Carl show up and sit down. Right previous to that, a bunch of LF's friends decided it'd be more fun to head downtown and go dance... I was tired from the previous week and Friday, so I wasn't much up for it. LF just wanted to stay by me, so she wanted to stay as well. Great, already ditching her friends because of me... Granted, it's her birthday, so they more ditched her. :/

Ryan started the night big... Shots of tequila all around, (to which I turned down.. I knew I'd be driving.. so I just stayed with a beer buzz). Conversation and banter occurred, and then Ryan made a side comment about why LF was being touchy.. did something in her past happen? had she been raped? (well.. in fact she had... ) Talk about foot in mouth. LF left and went to the bathroom... she didn't come back for about 20 mins... obviously she had been crying. Ryan knew his comment was off-color, but wasn't quite sure why. LF proceeded to fill him in on her own, then the picture became clear for him.

When LF was in the bathroom, a random girl came over to our table looking for a light for her cigarette. Interesting, since she was at a table of some others whom were smoking already... she just wanted to break the ice. :) Needless to say, we peppered her with questions, helped her make fun of her friends, she got more interested in our conversation. She asked us what we did for a living... Ryan's answer was "I kill people". So funny when he dead pans that answer. It makes people take a step back and either a) be offended or b) roll with it. If the b answer comes up... you know they're down to have fun.

LF came back, at that time, the random stepped away and went back to her friends. The conversation definitely got a little risque for her as we were covering topics such as orgasms, sex, three somes, drugs, killing people, etc. Yeah.. you're either down with us or not. She wasn't.

LF came back and had obviously been crying. Another random good looking girl came over and gave her a kiss on her cheek and a big hug. Wow... I like girls kissing girls. :) Unfortunately, LF didn't get her number, she would have been fun to get to come out with us. Well, there will always be other opportunities.

At the end of the night, LF came home with me. She couldn't drive, so that wasn't an option for her. We ended up going back to my house and having sex. At one point, LF mentioned she ran out of count on how many orgasms she had.... I put in my work. :) Damn she looks good under me and we do have some fun.

Weekend recap...

I'm finding out that balancing multiple relationships is challenging, but fun. I'm consistently learning alot, learning how to phrase statements to not give away too much information, not hurt someone's feelings and how to avoid conversations best left for a later time.

Friday:
SR basically made it mandatory that I spend some time with her that night as she was leaving on a cruise the next morning. I positioned it so that I would bring us dinner and we would hang out at her house as she packed and got her house ready for her house sitter. (Her house sitter was going to be her friend D, and from the previous posting you can see my thoughts on her.)
I brought us some Panda Express (damn I love their Orange Chicken), and got her a meal with some pepper chicken and General Tsao's chicken. We ended up just watching the Reno 911 movie and tried to make out while her dog was consistenly pestering us. (she has a long haired Terrier that is in constant need of attention. It really behaves as a spoiled brat.) SR told me that D was coming over after she got off work to watch the house, and that would be around 9:30, so when that time rolled around, I bounced.

LF had of course sent me a few messages. She was at the bar celebrating her birthday with a bunch of friends. Earlier in the day, I let her know that I would be out later to meet up with her and that I would bring my friends Carl and Ryan along. We ended up meeting LF and her friends at the Space Room, a local bar that is pretty much a hole in the wall type of place. We ended up shutting the bar down, leaving there around 2:30 or so. LF was definitely too drunk to drive, and she basically insisted on coming back and staying at my place (another sign that she's trying to make something serious happen)... This party had a lot of interesting things happen.. I'll write on these on a different post.

Saturday:
I had signed up to donate blood, so after waking up, having morning sex and driving LF back to her car, I had to head over to my appointment. I went early, as Ryan wanted me to go with him to his company party up in Washington at around 11. The Red Cross is so slow for donating blood. I have never been out there in under an hour, and this time was no different. Originally my donating time was setup for 10:45, but Ryan's company party was at 11, so I knew I needed to go earlier. I went in, they were able to work my into the schedule earlier, however still it took an hour for the whole process.

Ryan's party was up near Battle Ground, at a pretty sweet campsite that had a lot of activities there. There was a man made lake, bouncy castle for the kids, big blow up slide, a dunk tank, live music provided by the facility, nature trails and of course an open bar and free food. :)
Needless to say, I got pretty buzzed. I ended up putting down at least 6 beers there, still was buzzed from the night before and had a beer before we left up to the party. It was fun meeting his co-workers. They tend to be younger in age, so that was a good thing. I had to keep my behavior in check though, I mean, it was his company party afterall.

Saturday night, after we got back from the party we went and saw some live blues played here by a guy named Alex Weed. The guy's amazing. He's only 21, but sounds a lot like Keb Mo, plays a mean guitar and has a nice smokey blues voice. He's going to be big, just give him time.
This is the second time I've seen him play, and this time just as last I also got to talk to him and his mother. Found out that Alex is going to be back in Portland during the holidays, his family owns a condo off of NW 23rd and Burnside, and that later this year he might be over in Hawaii playing. I'll definitely make that trip to see him perform.

We drank more there, watched him perform for a few hours and then headed back home. Alex had invited us to tag along and go down to the Bite (a food festival that occurs in Portland every year.. great food). But we were pretty much socialized out, and decided it'd be more fun to go back and hit up a local pool hall. So we went home, and met up at a local pool hall that's mid-distance between my house and Ryan and Carl's apartment.

I finally shut down that night around 11pm...

Sunday:
LF"s birthday. I had promised that I would spend the day with her, as she was pushing hard for that. Sunday morning I finished up some chores and tried to have some quiet time to myself. LF had wanted to go to the zoo, but I was tired and moody during the afternoon, so I parried that and promised dinner instead. We ended up going to a movie (Bourne Ultimatum, another great film), and then having dinner at Henry's Bar and Grill. I had picked her up a cake from Helen Bernhard's bakery (arguably the best bakery in Portland). So after dinner, we went back to my place where we had sex and ate some cake. (doing both at the same time might be interesting....)

Sunday night I finally was able to get some sleep...

Mobile Musing

Currently sitting outside in the sun, on the front patio of a mexican restaurant drinking a nice cold beer. (don't you hate me?) I'm about to meet LF along with a few friends for drinks prior to the upcoming Timbers game.

Got word that SR is leaving town on a cruise for 2 weeks on Saturday morning. It will be a nice reprieve while I reflect on my situation with her.

Yesterday I had lunch with LF as well as met her for pick-up soccer that evening. Later that night I met SR for drinks while we watched some public reading performances.

At the performances we were to meet with SR's friend D, along with D's friend Barry. Personally I do not like Barry as he is a bit older than I (40-45 or so) and has a tendency to like to hang out with younger (20-25 or so) women. It just seems weird. That along with the fact that he doesn't respect their personal spaces. He tends to be touchy-feely with them. Always going in for that lingering hug that lasts just a bit too long, giving them that leering look of "the dirty old man".

Now this is just the impression that I get, and like I said, it is just a personal view of mine. Well, I let D know my thoughts on him, as she was at the bar and then just let me know that he was on his way. She immediately appeared upset that I said my view, so I followed up with a comment that I would be OK with him coming.

Instead, D ended up calling Barry and leaving with hIm to attend a different event. Pretty unfortunate response I thought, as that reaction is more like high school than adulthood. But to each their own.

SR then acted disappointed in D's actions and stated to me (this is after D left) how D and I would never get along. To a point, I think she is correct. I have a short patience with people who are not mature, and D continuously acts as such. D is also very protective of SR, as D does thing ssuch as "friending" the other myspace acquaintences of mine. For nafarious reasons I suppose, or to "keep tabs" on me.

Rightly so, I guess as friends do watch out for friends. SR and I have been open with each other though and no mention of exclusivity has gone on. But D wouldn't understand how we have worked things out.

So tonight I'm meeting LF for the game. Tomorrow I will be meeting SR before she leaves, and Sum just got back into town from Morrocco.

I will keep you posted.

:)

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Ever been hit by a freight train?

So LF sent me a few messages yesterday that gained my concern. One of which that she was in the hospital, to which I immediately placed a call to her.

She was bawling on the phone. (what follows is somewhat paraphrased)

Me: "Okay... what's going on?" (concerned voice)
Her: *sniff sniff sniff*... "I'm in the hospital..."
Me: "Yeah, got your message... what is it? Are you okay?"
Her: "I have an unplanned pregnancy." *sob*
Me: *shocked* (sound of the freight train hitting me) (However, I knew for a fact it wasn't mine... we haven't even slept together)
Her: "It's from that asshole that I got involved with that I told you about before..."
Me: "Uhm... okay... That's huge. (pause) So what do you want to do about it?"
Her: "I don't want to keep it. I can't afford it. It's not the right time.... Does that make me a bad person? Am I horrible?"
Me: "No. Everyone makes their own decisions for their own reasons. I believe in at least having that option available, as it's not my body."
Her: *sob* "Should I tell him?"
Me: "I would. There are few things that are a defining moment in a person's life, this is one of them."
Her: "I can't afford the procedure. I have credit card bills, my job isn't paying that well..."
Me: "Well, at least he should help you out with it."
Her: "Okay... I'm going to call him. I'm not a bad person, am I?"
Me: "No. If you're not ready, and you don't have a supportive family or environment, it's my belief that the timing isn't right. It's not beneficial to ruin two lives, when at a later time you'll be able to support the child fully. I don't think you are a bad person."
Her: "Thank you. I'm sorry about this."
*click*

We spoke multiple times during the day. Her emotions were across the board from anger at the guy who she did this with, to not being sure on keeping it or not, to being angry that she isn't in a better place in her life to make it a good event. Found out that in fact she did tell the guy about her unplanned pregnancy, at first he denied he was involved. He then offered to pay for half, and then finally buckled and said he'd pay for it all. Smart guy in that decision. It's either $400 for the procedure now, or child support for 18 years of his life.

All the while I was supportive of her, understanding, tried to help her regroup and focus her thinking. This decision has a lot of gravity and repercussions to it. I've been in this exact situation before.

*sound of the freight train running over me*

This particular situation with LF, where if a) I stick with it, the relationship will be weird or b) if I abandon it, then I'll be an asshole.

I'm not sure I can "win" in this predicament. I feel sorry for her, but I can understand her decision to not want to keep it. I'm just glad it isn't me right now, however if it were, I would keep the child. I'm at a better position in my life than before.

How to be a Gentleman...

So in my ever pursuit to find the right person to spend my time with, it seems that I tend to also attract girls that I would never, never date.

My curse tends to be that I can be a nice guy, I don't mind attention, so I don't put them off. Rather I just avoid direct responses to their inquiries or requests to go out. Is this being a gentleman? Should I acknowledge their requests and be blunt about it?

Recently this has happened to me with a girl that plays on one of my co-ed indoor soccer teams. She's been pretty persistent, but I've just been selective in my responses to her, avoiding the questions and requests to go out. I'm not sure if it's working though...

I hate hurting feelings, especially someone else's, let alone my own. I know that when I get turned down, it hurts the ego for sure, but is it better in the long run?

To her, I guess I'm approachable. I make conversation with her, share a common interest, etc.. But yeah... she needs some work done. The girl's been hit a few times with the ugly mack truck.

Latest she's asked for is my personal IM and a picture of me... (Scary... that's like stalker fodder)... instead I directed her to my social networking website of choice.

We'll see where she goes with that. Maybe seeing the other girls associated with me will put her off, especially since a few I am friends with and have "talked" with before are models. Maybe that will show her in a passive way that I'm a bit out of her league, not to be egotistical. Reality hurts.

Knockin it out...

Weekend was fun, Seattle actually had nice weather.

Friday I ended up leaving town around 2:30 or so. Left work at noon, ran a few errands, packed up my clothes and got the house ready for the cats for the weekend. I gave SR a call to see where she was and what the plans were, she indicated that she was ready to leave town as soon as possible.

I got over to her house at 2:30, picked her up with her house and then left town. Drive up went okay, Washington weather was nice along the way, however they can't drive any better than Oregon drivers. We got up to Seattle around 6:30 or so, and checked into the Sheraton downtown.

Shortly after we got into the hotel room, we put down our stuff and knocked it out. SR's friends got into town and checked into their rooms, so we synced up with them and then went out to Tiki Bob's Bar for drinks and dancing.

Tiki Bob's was a generic type bar with a Tiki lounge theme, really nothing to write home about. Some funny things happened though, ranging from a bachelorette party where a pretty overweight girl was wearing a white bra under a dark shirt.. (Never ever do this if you are in a bar that uses UV lights, which majority do.) To the bachelorette whom I broke conversation with and said "You're getting married? Good luck with that...".

There I met SR's old friend Amy, with whom she grew up in Simi Valley, California with. Amy was a trip, really gregarious and outgoing. Always looking for a good time and having lots of fun. Needless to say, she was getting hit on left and right at the bar, random guys coming up and hitting on her. Didn't seem to bother her at all, she tended to take care of herself pretty well. A few times I had to step in and help peel guys off of her, but overall she handled her own business.

After the bar, we went home around 1:30/2 am... got back and knocked it out again (seeing a theme here?).

Slept, woke up, knocked it out... then went out to Pike Street Market and spent the day downtown shopping there. That night we went to Cutters restaurant (nice seafood restaurant in downtown Seattle. We ended up racking up a $230 bill for 6 of us.. wasn't too bad.) Then we cut out to the Twilight Room and stayed there until 2am again.

Seattle has a pretty fun downtown. I just wish the weather was better consistently.

After we got back, we knocked it out and again in the morning...

I have to keep reminding myself.... Don't get comfortable. Hopefully I didn't knock her up when knocking it out...

Right when I got into town, LF sent me a text... we'll see how this week goes. :)

Opportunities on the horizon...

Last night was pretty uneventful, however some new women may be getting thrown into the mix soon.

Yesterday was the First Thursday of the month. At my work, every first Thursday we get a catered party that also involves a lot of beer. This is a very good thing. Leads to good co-worker bonding, plus get to rub shoulders with our managers and meet co-worker's significant others.

I had an indoor game scheduled for 6:15, so if I had plans to get to the gym and then soccer, I'd have to cut my gym time short. When 3pm started rolling around (I usually leave at 4), the thoughts of having beer started to appeal more to me then hitting the gym. I took inventory of what I had with me and realized that I had left my indoor soccer shoes at home... Fuck. There goes the gym idea.

Getting back home and then out to Beaverton meant that I would have to cross from NW Portland to North East, and then get on the freeway and out to the soccer facility. I'd be cutting it really close if I left around 5 from work. Just enough time to down a few beers and socialize at work and then make that run to the game.

3 beers later, I bailed for home, made a mad dash out to the game and made it there by 6:20, just a bit late. I stepped on the field and played, we ended up losing 7-6, but the game was pretty close.

That team is managed by a girl, Cr. Cr's great, has a feisty attitude, play lots of soccer, is a nurse at a local hospital and looks pretty hot. Earlier this year we went out for drinks after a game with a bunch of people who play with us. Group socializing at its finest. During that night, the conversations of course turned to relationships, and of course I lamented about the dating scene and how people tend to spend too much time on a person's past, and not just realize that the past made them the person they are now, and isn't necessarily a bad thing.

At that time, Cr was in a relationship, so I was a bit more open about my stories than usual. She got the dirt on me then and heard my views on things. Skeletons out of the closet and all that.

So back to our game. After the game when I was taking my gear off, she was wrapping up her things and heading home. Conversation went from her being frustrated about unreliable players, to having to be stuck with the bill for the teams and having to make up the difference when people weren't showing up. All frustrations that I used to have when running teams, and which ultimately made me stop managing them. The conversation evolved into her personal life, I asked about her boyfriend and how he was doing. She replied with: "Oh... We broke up 2 weeks ago." The wheels started clicking in my head....

She proceeded to talk about how it was a bit liberating, how he was getting annoying and how always having to check in with him was getting tiresome. All things that I want to avoid at this time in my life too. So I expoused on that topic, let her know that I was in the same mindset, and how I just wanted the freedom to do what I wanted. Not having to answer to anyone is a good feeling, although having that stability is nice at times. It's just nicer to be free. :) I made the statement: "For instance, if I wanted to ask you out for a drink after the game, I wouldn't want to be worried about someone else's thoughts right now... I would just want to roll with it and have fun." She didn't seem too put off by that comment. :)

As we were parting ways, she made the comment to me: "Brent, it's really nice seeing you again..."

Possibilities... I love them.

Meanwhile, off to Seattle for the weekend with SR. This weekend, I'm sure, will be filled with sex and alcohol. Hopefully I'll have some good stories to bring back. :)

Which head to think with....

Yesterday was fun, really decided that I need to get my back fixed. My sciatica is hampering my soccer ability, and since my leg was in pain from my back, it made it more difficult to turn on the ball, sprint for speed, control my passes, etc. It sucks knowing that you have the ability, but physically you can't live up to it.

I went to the gym after work and lifted weights for about an hour, then went and met with LF at a school yard to play some pick-up soccer with a bunch of 20 to 40 year olds for a bit. We ended up playing for a couple of hours in the afternoon heat that faded into dusk.

After that, LF said that her laptop was still not working, and she wanted me to go to her house and work on it. But we were both hungry, so I said that we should get something to eat first before I worked on her computer. She mentioned that I did live close to the place we were playing soccer, so we could feasibly go to my house instead. (she's a bit sneaky like that... I think she just wanted to see my place.) Sounded like a good plan to me. :)

We went to a local bar that has great wings called Madison's. Madison's is over in SE Portland, off of SE 11th and Madison. I had the wings and a Heffeweisen, and she had a burger. After which, I gave her my address (hope she isn't a stalker!) and we met at my house.

Once we met there, I proceeded to pop open her laptop and boot it up. The thing was running really slow, so at first I suspected it was a virus issue. I tried to boot into safe mode to no avail. Things weren't looking good, and it only got worse. I kept trying to boot normally, boot safely, nothing was working. All the while the computer was making funny noises, black screening, BSOD and rebooting... not healthy at all. Then it finally "bricked". I'd press the power button, and the power light would just sit there and flash, eventhough it was plugged in. So based on that analysis, it appeared that the battery was dead, and thus the power issue. With the battery failing and the power being routed through it not working... the computer seemed dead to me. I asked her how old the computer was, she responded "really old". I then said that she could feasibly get a new battery for it, but it's like $80, and might just be better to get a new laptop. She could pickup one for around $500 that'll do what she needs it to do... still, not good news.

After that, it was time for my "back rub". So of course I suggested that we move to my bed... (lower half thinking). She kindly obliged. Moving to my bed, which she loves, we proceeded to make out, shirts came off, shorts almost came off. Then we started talking. She mentioned that the first time she sleeps with me, she wants to stay the night. With it already being late, having her stay the night would not only be awkward, but I wouldn't be getting much sleep with her.

We talked some more. Then I remembered her talking about a "relationship" after sleeping with someone. That definitely made me pause (top half thinking). I know it'll just be drama with her if I sleep with her. She's already clingy as it is, and if I sleep with her it'll only get worse. She's already asking me to go on trips with her, meeting her family, etc. All signs that she wants something more serious. Ugh.

During dinner I let her know that I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. I didn't want to have to think about someone else's concerns if I wanted to go out with friends, or take a girl to lunch or whatever. She claimed she didn't want one either, but if she was to go further with me, then it'd be under the agreement that I wouldn't be going out to hook up with anyone else. That if I took another girl out to lunch/dinner, it'd just be as friends, not because I was interested with them. That's a more committed relationship. That's a challenging proposition, thus the pause.

Time will tell which head wins out.

Pictures aren't always what they seem...

So yesterday I finally had my date with C. I don't think I'm going to pursue another.

I don't care what people say about how judging people on looks is shallow. I guess it is, but there has to be attraction there to make it work, right? I guess over time, if someone sticks around long enough, and you're the only two involved then outlooks may change. But as the saying goes: There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Since that is true, then I'll keep looking.

Of course, looks aren't the only thing that attract me to a woman, but they sure do help a lot for the first, second, third dates. It's not to say that C was unattractive, just not the type that appeals to me. I think it was more of her facial features, and her voice.

Her voice is a bit lower than most women I speak with. Not manly low, but.... low. Not really one that I would want whispering in my ear as we cuddle in bed. Definitely not one that I'd like to have yell at me.

So I met up with C. We went to a little hole in the wall place for dinner called Produce Row.

They have this killer House Special sandwich. Their version of the Philly Cheese Steak. Almost like a garbage grinder, but better. They also had a bunch of brews on tap that were featured at the Oregon Brew Fest from last weekend. Great stuff. I had the House Special with a few Cream Ale's. If you live or venture to Portland, go there. You won't be disappointed.

So onto C's looks. It may be mean to say, but she looked her age. I wonder if I look 30, but she definitely looks 30. Wasn't quite like her picture on her personal profile, with the doe eye look, pouty lip and little shoulder length hair cut. Little hint of clevage, and the promise of "athletic" body type. Sounds good, right?

Until I saw her. Her lips weren't too pouty, her hair was dyed mixed blond and brown, her cover-up was pretty caked on, her bust was beginning to fall. Kind of looked like she has had a rough life.

We spoke throughout dinner, a few awkward pauses here and there. Found out she works in a law firm as a legal assistant, just moved up here a few months ago from Marin, California (affluent, right?), has moved to Austin, Texas and back, loves the weather up here.

Too bad I want to move to San Diego in a few years...

We spent about 2.5 hours talking, then decided to call it a night. I think I did most of the talking... that could also be why the dinner ended sooner than later. Oh well, good food in my stomache and another $40 gone from my pockets.

I gave her a hug and called it a night... I was even the gentleman and walked her to her car, as she had parked a couple blocks from the tavern.

After I left her... the first call I made was to LF (I was slightly buzzed, wanted a booty call). But she had been out with her sister. LF actually went to a psychic show that night, Sylvia Brown. LF told me that she actually had her number called for a personal reading too, and that Sylvia had told her to pursue medicine as a profession. With LF doing Personal Training, I guess that falls into "medicine". Psychics... so general, but sometimes they can surprise you.

LF mentioned that she almost asked about her future with me (bad bad sign...)... but decided it'd be better to ask for something for herself... I echoed that thought. Unlucky for me, LF was still out, on her way back home and wouldn't be back for an hour. At that time, I was 5 minutes from my house heading home. I knew that if I went home, I wouldn't leave again.

So I went home... drank some more and played Warcraft. Such is the life of a bachelor, at least some things are constant.