This weeks schedule...

Socially it's been crazy. Occupationally quite boring.

So last week or so, I was randomly messaged on MySpace (blasphemy, I know) by a girl named Stephanie. She seemed pretty sweet. Her profile said she was athletic, working as a Systems Analyst and her pictures were pretty cute.

But what did she write me about? My cats. This probably should have been the first red flag... but I digress.

I really have no formal relationships ongoing right now. Sure, there's a girl that I do hang out on more occasions than others, but in the long run she won't be the next one I'll marry. ("Next" you ask? Stay tuned, I may or may not delve into that whole saga at a later time...). So I decided to go ahead and setup a date. Nice dinner at an Italian restaurant here (Touche's), that has great pool upstairs, but I hadn't yet frequented their restaurant. The plan was, if the conversation went well, mayhaps we'd be able to extend it to more drinks and pool upstairs.

We decided to meet around 7pm on Friday, actually now that I remember, it was to have dinner after work. It was actually one night which I didn't have a soccer game scheduled. I showed up a bit early, never a good thing to be late to a date, and waited patiently for her to show up. After about 20 minutes she showed up. She was beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes and about 5'8" with a runners body. The bonus is that she actually had a figure, not the too skinny body that runners sometime gain when they're down to 0% body fat. Her looks pleased me much.

I stood up, gave her a hug and then we proceeded to sit down and begin to converse. I ordered a microbrew, she ordered some wine and we kept talking. We spoke for about 1/2 hour before even ordering our food, and at one time during the opening hour or so of our date the server came over to ask us about a possible desert, and then proceeded to inform us that the owner wanted to provide it for us. He must have seen the sparks, because in the beginning there were many.

We both clicked on topics, beliefs, political stances.... and then the history talk began to come up.

I've been told about this, and yet I always fall into the same trap. I'm getting better at avoiding it, but it still got me this time. Mind you, this was into the 3rd/4th hour of our date. Up to this point, we had spoken about, and even appeared to be excited about the opportunity for a second date.

Never, never talk about history on the first date. Although I'm philosophical about it, and it may be a good debate to bring up.

She started talking about her family history, drug use, addictions, overdoses, physical disabilities in her immediate family. All things which I believe in myself that I could overcome, or be supportive for another to work through. She spoke of her recent ex... that she was just finishing up separating property with, she was still letting him use her car for the next few weeks until he get situated and moves on. (So now I ask myself, why was she out looking for another date so soon?... )

I can be empathetic of a bad breakup, but on my logical side I have always felt that at the end of a relationship for me it becomes more black and white. If you reach a point where you are finally stepping physically away from the other person, it's over. Finito.

For my ex, I paid for her car while she figured out where she would move on to, and so I assumed that Steph would be able to as well... but everyone is not the same.

So during this conversation, I slipped into mentioning about my ex.... never ever talk of a divorce on a first date, but then on the other hand, it could be a good litmus test of sorts for the person you're with. Good judgement of someone who can be understanding and realize that not everything in the world is a story book. Another bonus is the fact that at least in my opinion, it's a sign about the maturity of someone. Someone who doesn't judge a book by their cover, that can understand that not everything works perfectly.

Dinner finally finished up, both with us having half-eaten dinners that had grown cold due to the excellent conversation in the beginning hours of the date. I broached the subject of going upstairs to play some pool, and she agreed so up we went. The tables were full, as they always are, but instead of drinks to pass the time, she claimed being tired and wanted to go home.

The next day, I sent her a message letting her know that I had a great time, and would want to possibly meet up again shortly.... then the response:

"I had a good time last night too. Thank you for dinner and the company. However, what I also realized last night is that I am not ready to start anything right now. My recent break-up is still very fresh and I need to take a few steps back and work on me. I think you are an amazing guy and feel lucky to have met you. Good luck with Soccer and everything. Maybe I will see you around some time:)
Steph"

It's not you, it's me... I hate that response.